


Suburban Living

by aj_hofacre, lydiamartin (dwinchester)



Series: Steo Week 2015 [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-07
Updated: 2015-10-07
Packaged: 2018-04-25 06:23:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4950013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aj_hofacre/pseuds/aj_hofacre, https://archiveofourown.org/users/dwinchester/pseuds/lydiamartin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a continuation of Home Sweet Home, from this same series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Suburban Living

“It’s not like I wanted this to happen.” Stiles muttered, tossing another shovelful of dirt up, over his shoulder. He frowned down at the corpse. “You just had to show up and make more trouble for us. We’re trying to have a life together.” It had been two weeks since they had moved into their home. They had just finished painting when a deputy showed up on their front porch, demanding to speak to the previous owner. He refused to leave when Stiles said the man was indisposed, so he felt like he had no choice but to invite him in and offer him something to drink.

"He was asking for it." Theo muttered, pushing his own shovel back into the ground. "He practically forced this on himself. We weren't bothering anyone, and he decided to cause a stir. Nobody else in the damn neighborhood has a problem with us being here." When the deputy had been invited in, Theo had nearly offed him right then and there, but had decided to do things a little more subtly than he normally did - such was Stiles' effect on him. He'd ducked into the kitchen to make the aforementioned coffee, but had given the deputy a special ingredient that he'd refrained from adding to the cups he'd poured for himself and Stiles. Within minutes of taking his first sip, in the middle of a suspicious finger jab at the both of them, the deputy had keeled over onto the floor, his eyes flicking between them wildly, suddenly terrified. Theo had been unable to resist letting the man lay frozen in his paralysis, finishing his coffee before disposing of the deputy almost lazily. His only concern now was making sure Stiles was alright, and covering up the body. 

“Adding that kanima venom to his coffee was genius. Have I told you that I adore you?” Stiles grinned at Theo. “Because I really do. I’m so glad we’re together.” He went back to shoveling dirt away from the grave they were digging for the deputy. “Making it impossible for him to scream was a great idea. And we can put that pit right here, for barbecues. I don’t want to pave over everything, that’ll make it harder to do this again if we need to. When we need to. Maybe we’ll plant flowers instead, I don’t know. Do you think four feet down will be enough, or should we go the whole six?” 

“All the way down, to six, I think. Better safe than sorry, right? And I was thinking a garden, maybe. Remember when I had a blackout moment and got you to agree to watch Secret Window the other night, and we watched the extra endings?” Theo raised his eyebrows in amusement. “The thing with the corn? I mean, they might as well be useful if they’re gonna be buried in the yard, right?”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to plant corn. Flowers, definitely.” Stiles nodded. “We’ll get Lydia to help. It’ll be hilarious.” 

“You know she’s going to scream the minute she sets foot anywhere near here, and she’s going to be pissed off that we sprung it on her,” Theo grinned. “She’s either gonna lecture us, or smack us, and I’m not sure which one amuses me more.” His shovel drove back into the ground a little more forcefully, and a pile of dirt flew up and out of the hole. “I do have to say, that fence was probably the best investment we ever made. Keeps the nosy neighbors out, but still gives ‘em the creeps.”

“Well, you just had to get the wrought iron thing with the spikes on it.” Stiles laughed. “We look like we belong in a gothic painting.” 

Theo grinned. “Let me find a pitchfork, and we can go stand in front of a barn in overalls and have our picture taken. Closest we’d probably get to _American Gothic._ Besides, that thing is gonna come in handy when it’s time for Halloween, mark my words.”

“A man after my own heart.” Stiles teased. He wiped sweat off of his forehead with the back of his hand. “I’m going to get a bottle of water. Do you want one?” 

Theo waved it off, tugging Stiles toward him to kiss him lightly. “I’m okay. I’ll finish this up and follow you in, alright?”

Stiles nodded, then leaned in to kiss Theo a second time. “Maybe we’ll just take a shower together when you’re done, then.” He teased, climbing out of the grave and going into the house. He opened a bottle of water and took a long drink from it, then wandered through the house. Their living room made him smile. They had picked out furniture together and repainted the walls a light yellow, something that made him think of sunshine. He didn’t care that it was sappy, he was in love and he wanted everything around him to reflect that. He opened the front door to check the mail, startled when he came face to face with a neighbor. She was elderly, but looked harmless. Stiles knew that meant she was dangerous. He wasn’t an idiot. “Hi, can I help you?” 

“Oh, yes.” The woman smiled, holding out a pie plate for Stiles to take. “I’m Mrs. Thomas. I live next door, and I wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood. In my era, a couple like you would have been frowned upon, but I never felt like it was such a terrible ordeal. I wanted you to know that if you ever need anything, you can come talk to me. I’ve lived here for sixty years now.” 

Stiles took the pie, giving Mrs. Thomas a grateful smile. “With all due respect, this is still your era. Things have just changed a little.” 

The woman’s smile widened. “Thank you for saying that. I have to get home, but my offer stands.” 

Stiles waved goodbye and carried the pie and the mail back into the house. He set the plate down in the kitchen and got out a knife, cutting a small slice for himself. He cut a second one for Theo. 

Theo came in the back door, scrubbing a hand over his head and grabbing a towel to dry his neck. He grimaced as he stared down at the streaks of dirt covering the fabric before he sighed and tossed it toward the dirty laundry pile in the corner. His eyes lit up when he went into the kitchen and caught sight of the pie. “When did we get that?”

“Just now.” Stiles held a plate out to Theo. “The old lady that lives next door made it for us. She seems kind of sweet. She sounded almost like she’s trying to make up for the way gay people got treated when she was younger. I didn’t feel like explaining bisexuality to her, though. Still, close enough.” 

Theo blinked. “Well, okay. Hey, free food though, right?” He grinned and took the plate eagerly. “That was nice of her, though. God, it’s been forever since I’ve had some decent pie. This is gonna be good.” He grabbed a fork and slice into the pastry, lifting it to his mouth to take a bite.

Stiles did the same thing, but he grimaced as soon as he tasted his bite. He spit it out into his palm. “Don’t eat it, honey. It’s disgusting. She gave us rhubarb.” He scraped his slice into the trash, then washed his hands in the sink. 

Theo’s lips had wrapped around the fork, but the moment Stiles had spoken, he carefully opened his mouth and drew the fork out, a betrayed expression on his face as he stared at the pie. “What the fuck kind of monster is she? Who puts something that looks like red celery in a pie?”

“Old women with digestive problems.” Stiles stared at Theo for a moment. “I’ll get the kanima venom and my favorite knife, you get a wheelbarrow and a tarp? We’ve got to kill her. She’s obviously evil.” 

Theo sprang into action. “We’re doing this for the good of the neighborhood. There’s no telling how many people she’s tried to poison with this shit.” He agreed, nodding sagely.


End file.
